Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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