sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
