those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
