Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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