omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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