What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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