I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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