I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
