come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
