i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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