I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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