i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I am never drinking with the goths again.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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