Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
