I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Fuck me I smell like cheese
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
