we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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