Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
