He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
