Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
