no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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