Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
