he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
