I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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