East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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