forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
