How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
