Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize