so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
we're so committed to being not committed
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize