you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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