I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
