He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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