Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
