im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
