I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Randomize
