She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
