We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
