...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
