i barfeds in our rink
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
