..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
