There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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