i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You need Xanax blowdarts
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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