drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
