He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
