I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
