He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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