The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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