Screwed.edu
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
