its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
