it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize