Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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