maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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