So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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