elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
