I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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