Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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