I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
