I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
