I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
