I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
