heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
