doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
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