worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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