how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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