Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
