dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize