Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
