wanna go halves on a baby?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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