If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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