she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
