all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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