Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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