I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
