suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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